Quotes from Mrs. Doubtfire

Quotes

Stu: [asking the family if they'd like to go swimming]
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh you wicked, wicked man! Isn't there enough flesh here to feast your eyes on?
Stu: Oh come now, Mrs. Doubtfire, don't be bashful.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh, no dear. I think they've outlawed whaling

Miranda: [talking about Stu] Isn't he fabulous?
Mrs. Doubtfire: If you like that handsome, rugged type. But personally I prefer short, furry and funny
Miranda: He just wants to go out and have a drink. I think that's pretty harmless, don't you?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Absolutely not, dear, because they always have other intentions
Miranda: This is business mostly. I'll just sit there and sip club soda and we'll go over wallpaper samples
Mrs. Doubtfire: Dear Miranda, wake up and smell the coffee. Can't you see the lust in the man's eyes? It's too soon dear, really. You've got to give your divorce some time, dear. Let your sheets cool down before you bring someone else into the bed, alright?
Miranda: Mrs. Doubtfire, may I ask you a question?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh certainly, dear
Miranda: How long after Mr. Doubtfire passed away... Did you feel any desire?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Never
Miranda: Never?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Never again
Miranda: Never again?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Once the father of your children is out of the picture, the only solution is total and lifelong celibacy
Miranda: Yes. And if you violate that, heaven forgive you! Good luck!

Mrs. Doubtfire: As I hold this cold meat, I'm reminded of Winston
Miranda: What happened?
Mrs. Doubtfire: He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him
Miranda: How awful. He was an alcoholic?
Mrs. Doubtfire: No, he was hit by a Guinness truck

[At the taping of a show]
Daniel: They should have a little disclaimer that says "Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching This Show". Incredible. This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid. Amazing. He has the warmth of a snow pea. He makes Mister Rogers look like Mick Jagger.

Mrs. Doubtfire: All right everybody, it's time to expand our minds, it's...
[after turning the TV off]
Mrs. Doubtfire: Homework time. Okay?
Lydie: [turning the TV on] Yeah. But after Dick Van Dyke
Mrs. Doubtfire: [turns it off] No.
Lydie: [TV back on]
Lydie: We always watch Dick Van Dyke
Mrs. Doubtfire: Really? Well, not anymore.
[takes remote and throws it in the air. It lands in the aquarium]
Mrs. Doubtfire: The only thing you'll be watching is... Deep CNN