The Flight Attendant's 12 Rules of Etiquette

We all know that not everyone has the most etiquette on an airplane. They leave messes for the flight staff to attend to. Here, according to the New York Times, are the 12 rules of etiquette for summer travel. And this article was composed by a flight attendant. She seems to have some snappy retorts for those who break the rules.

She's worked as a flight attendant for 21 years and she's seen / heard it all. She's seen small spats increase over to violence. With tensions rising because of the pandemic and more, violence against flight crew and passengers have been increasing quickly

1. While everyone has a right to recline, there's a polite way to do it

-If you want to recline, simply ask the person behind you if it's okay. If you don't, that's bad. The wrong way to go about it is to just go ahead and slam back as if you're in an easy chair at home. Those seats have flip down tables and the person behind you may have been working on something related to work because this might be a work trip for them. The slamming back of a recliner has broken laptops, spilled drinks, caused fistfights, resulting in flights being diverted. Not only that, if the person behind you has to use the bathroom, they can't get up because you're essentially in their lap. Prior to reclining, peek behind you and see what it going on and ask politely if the person minds if you recline.

2. Clean up after your kids

-The flight attendants are not maids. The planes do not come equipped with mops, vacuums or other cleaning supplies. In fact, their "cleaning supplies" go as far as hand soap, wet wipes and air freshener. You are not required to clean up, but it makes their jobs easier and faster when you do. It's also considerate. The other side of the clean up coin is that messes present a safety hazard; and they can delay the next flight of people. Think ahead: if you're bringing children, can they handle a large bag of snacks without making messes? Do they make a lot of messes with large bags of snacks at home? If the answer is no to either of those questions, bring a smaller, more easily controllable container of snacks for them. Once they're gone, they're gone. They don't get any more

3. The overhead bins are not your own personal Tetris game

-The overhead bins are to be shared by people in your row and immediate vicinity. In economy class, aka regular flying class, it's first come, first serve. With that said, still be considerate of others. Don't think that whole bin belongs to you. It's not acceptable to take out someone else's bag to make yours fit. Sliding them to the side is fine. Larger bags belong in overhead bins while smaller bags are told be stored under the seats. They go over this during the safety and rules of flying

4. No one wants to hear your conversation

-If you're on the phone, please be considerate of those around you. Use wireless earbuds or keep the conversation PG-13. No one wants to hear about the drama of someone having a family member arrested for something or hear an XXX-rated conversation. Plus, being on the airplane is no time for goodbyes. It's time to find your seat, stow your bags in either the overhead bin or under the seat in front you ASAP so people behind you can do the same thing. Also, no one wants to hear your music, movies, TikTok or video games. Bring headphones or earbuds, especially kids. It don't matter if the flight attendants can see what you're watching. They don't care; they just don't want to hear it.

(A personal example of mine is from a couple of years ago, me and my family were going to Mexico and the woman in the seat across the aisle from me was watching Fifty Shades of Grey on her Kindle. Thank God she had earbuds; I would have laughed myself sick hearing the moans of passion coming from that Kindle, lol. I told my sister and we were snickering so hard we were shaking)

5. The middle seat gets both armrests

-This is not arm wrestling; the middle seat gets both armests. That's the prize for being squished like sardines in between two people

6. Headphones are a perfect conversation ender

-Do you have an overly chatty seatmate who is just dying to tell you things you could care less about? Put those headphones on and signal conversation over. Headphones are the perfect way to signal to that diarrhea of the mouth seatmate you don't want to talk. And if you want to read, they should also take a hint. If they put their hand on your book to force you to listen, politely tell them that you are not interested in talking. If they still don't get the hint, be a little more forceful in letting them know you don't wish to communicate with them. Not everyone wants to talk with their seatmate, unless it's a sibling, friend or family member

7. Keep your socks on

-Foot smell is inescapable. An airplane is, more or less, a giant metal tube. If a smell escapes, the whole cabin will smell that smell.  You can take off your shoes, but keep your socks on. Also, keep your feet to yourself. It's not acceptable to put your feet on the armrest of the person in front of you; you may as well put your feet in their face because that's what it's like. Also, put your shoes on when using the bathroom

8. The call button is not a toy

-The call button is to be used only if you need a coffee refill, a medical issue or a disruptive passenger. It's not to be played with. Prior to pressing it, look around. Make sure the flight attendants are not already in the aisle passing out food and drinks. Only hit the button several times if it's an urgently dire emergency

9. Don't discipline other people's children

-That's the responsibility of that child's parents to discipline them. Nothing makes a flight more annoying than when a child behind you treats the seat as a personal punching bag. If a child is being disruptive, seek out the child's parents and ask that they do something about their child being disruptive. You don't have to yell and argue; calmly and nicely ask them to please have their child stop doing that. Tell them that it is beginning to annoy you. Ask them if they can make it stop. That way, you come off as nice and respectful and it does not come off as an accusatory tone

10. Seating issues are to be done before getting on the plane

-Airlines, by law, are not required to seat families together. You can ask to be seated together when checking in at your airline's front desk. The gate agents have access to the seating chart and family reservations. Ask them first if it's possible to change seats. Some airlines have a rule that families with kids under 13 must sit together. Contact the gate agent before boarding, or better yet, contact the airline prior to coming to the airport to save you frustration

11. You don't have to switch seats if someone asks you

-This will make a lot of people angry only because you have a choice seat and they got a crappy seat. It's completely fine to say No when someone asks you to switch seats with them. If you paid extra for your seat, then by all means, you should get to keep that seat. But if it is a good chance, such as getting a window seat or aisle seat, then go ahead and switch, as long as it's okay to move about the cabin

12. Flush. Please

-We all go to the bathroom on the airplane. We all have had to have a BM on the plane. Sometimes it's unavoidable. Please flush after you are done. This is complete common sense. No one else wants to flush what you've left behind. Not only that, but like foot smell, BM smell can spread throughout the cabin and no one wants to smell that. Look for the button and use it

A few bits of my own advice...

Don't clip your nails on the plane

-For the love of God, please do not do this. Not only is it inconsiderate, it's plain unsanitary. If your nails need to be clipped, do it BEFORE getting on the plane. No one wants to hear the rhythmic click click of a nail clipper. Because that means that that person's nails could risk getting in someone's hair, in someone's food or drink. And if you're clipping your toenails, there's something wrong with you. That's even more unsanitary because of foot conditions like athlete's foot, foot fungus and more. No one wants nails infected with foot fungus or other foot conditions getting on them; they're contagious. Not only that, it'll also be a miracle you got through security with a nail clipper considering they usually have a sharp nail file attached and could be considered a weapon.

Don't push your way through the airplane

-Everyone wants to sit down just like you. Don't push your way through the airplane because that could cause someone to fall and get seriously injured. Be patient because if there are people on the plane with babies or small children, they have to get them situated first.

-A great example of this. Me and my family had gone to the Dominican Republic a couple of years ago on vacation. We didn't know there was a wedding party on board where both the bride and groom had also brought their families. One person in the wedding party was a very overweight child complaining about having to walk too slow and he was pushing his way through the plane so he could sit down as soon as possible. As a result, he fell into my mom, who fell in to me and I fell into my sister, who fell into her airplane seat and got a nasty bruise shaped like the armrest on her lower back. My mother sought out his parents and told them what he was doing, but they didn't seem to do anything. They were just as preoccupied with sitting down as everyone else was

Don't knock someone over as soon as the bathroom door opens

-The flight staff only allow one person at a time to stand outside the bathroom. As soon as that person comes out, do not knock them over and practically push them out of your way. This can cause tempers to flare, words to be uttered, and before you know it, a fist fight. Be patient. Also to tie in with this, do not start banging on the door, demanding that person hurry up. Even though the planes do serve alcohol, do not consume tons of it; you'll have plenty of opportunity to get sloshed when you get to your destination. Until then, do not drink heavily on the airplane and then start banging on the door, telling the occupant to hurry up. It's 100% YOUR FAULT you have to relieve yourself; you shouldn't have drank all that booze. Not only that, but if a parent is in the bathroom with their young child, a child young enough to still be in diapers, that parent has to attend to those needs so that child doesn't get a urinary tract infection. That will take time to change and clean the child to get them into a clean diaper. Also, if a woman is experiencing Mother Nature, if you know what I mean, it takes time to attend to those needs as well. Be patient. Just wait your turn!

Don't overdrink on the airplane

-You'll have plenty of opportunity to get hammered when you arrive at your destination. Not only is it mind bogglingly expensive to drink alcohol on the airplane, but if you consume too much, you're either going to throw up or have to keep using the bathroom. And if you're in the middle, you don't want to bother your aisle seatmate, who might be asleep or doing something else, to keep getting up to use the bathroom. And they will be absolutely repulsed if you end up throwing up into one of those air sick bags right next to them, or worse, throwing up on yourself. So save yourself some issue and don't overdrink on the airplane. You'll be saving yourself not only $$$, but also the trouble of constant bathroom visits and/or throwing up

If you're with someone you love, don't start making out in the seats

-It's completely fine to be in love and sitting next to the one you love. It's a completely different game when you start making out so hard that it's only a matter of time before clothes start shedding. Save the passion for the bedroom at your hotel

-My parents witnessed this on the way home from Tahiti one year. They were on the airplane with a bunch of French residents, since a lot of French residents catch a connecting flight to De Gaulle Airport in France through CVG, the major airport serving the Northern Kentucky and Greater Cincinnati area. My mom and stepdad were coming home from Tahiti and this French couple in front of them started making out and then they really got into it. According to my mom, they were one step from shedding clothes and going down on each other right there. A flight attendant had to tell them to knock it off because there was a little French girl sitting next to my mother. She was in the middle of a custody battle with her parents; her mother lived in Paris and her dad lived in Tahiti and she had just gotten done having time with her dad, so she was going back to Paris.