33 Unwritten Rules of Cincinnati

Known as The Queen City (named as such after the poem "Catawba Line" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow), Cincinnati is a quirky, mixed bag of cultures and traditions. The unique cultures of other countries reside here, resulting in the interesting blend of languages, cultures and even international restaurants. There are interesting events that occur every year, such as the Cinco De Mayo Festival on Fountain Square, a large entertainment area in the heart of downtown Cincinnati that celebrates the Mexican Independence Day. Or the Flying Pig Marathon, a large race run every year. The "Flying Pig" moniker comes from a story involving runaway pigs from a slaughterhouse when the city of Cincinnati was first starting up and a lot of slaughterhouses resided here. Oktoberfest is gigantic here because the vast German population that once resided here. In fact, the Oktoberfest here is said to be one of the biggest in the world, outside of Germany. Then there is the WEBN Fireworks, sponsored by the local hard rock / heavy metal radio station 102.7 WEBN.

From left to right: Great American Tower, building that looks like it has steps was formerly Convergys, but now Omnicare Insurance. Building in center is First Financial (it even says it on the building). The two white cap buildings are the twin towers of Procter & Gamble. The tall building with orange top is Carew Tower. The building next to Carew Tower, with the blue stripe is Fifth Third Bank, the main tower downtown

CityBeat is a local magazine dedicated to all things Cincinnati. They always have interesting articles about what to do, where to eat, what to go see, where to stay and more. Here is an article they released about the 33 unwritten rules of Cincinnati.

Of course, I'll add my own take on that. Because quite a few, I do not agree with, and I'm a resident of Cincinnati. I'll also add in a few of my own that I've noticed in the years since I've moved to the Queen City.

1. Everyone feels that Skyline Chili, the local Cincinnati-style chili, is the best.

Skyline Chili is the local chili place here. Of course, there are other, smaller chili places that are just as good, such as Price Hill Chili or Blue Ash Chili, but Skyline is the major one, with locations all over the Queen City and even in Northern Kentucky. Even down south as far as Florida, there are Skylines. They're just under the name Cincinnati Chili Company. Then there is the Northern Kentucky equivalent called Gold Star Chili

This is called a four-way. It consists of your choice of onions or beans, chili, cheese, spaghetti

2. Most residents of Cincinnati think the local NFL team, the Cincinnati Bengals, are undefeated.

Like most if not all teams, you win some, you lose some. The players are almost constantly changed out due to signing contracts with other teams. It's a sort of hit or miss if they win or lose. There does seem to be strict rivalries between the Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns and Pittsburgh Steelers. But, luckily, the Bengals are doing better. They just need to keep the good work going and then, fingers crossed, they can make it to the Super Bowl and also, fingers crossed, they can win. If they win the Super Bowl, this city will explode with excitement! There will be parties for days!!

3. Your boss knows Opening Day is a day off from work

A lot of people in the city of Cincinnati take off work to attend Opening Day for the Cincinnati Reds. The local MLB team, when they open for the season, hundreds of thousands of people flock together in their red and white Reds gear to celebrate the start of baseball season. You can't move for inches downtown without running into someone. Also, it won't just be Cincinnati Reds jerseys you'll see. You'll also see jerseys for other teams outside of Cincinnati, like the Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs or whoever that person supports in baseball

4. Supposedly, all Cincinnati residents have a crush on Bengals player Joe Burrow

Whoever wrote this article must think everyone loves him. This person does not. I do not have a crush on him. To me, he's just another football player. Not only that, I don't think he's even on the team anymore. I think he was traded to another team. Not everyone has a crush on Joe Burrow. His fashion choices are quite questionable. One time, he was shown wearing this "interesting" suit that had flowers on it. Not sure what was going on there....

5. Despite the fact it's technically considered CUF, The University of Cincinnati is in Clifton

CUF stands for Clifton Heights, University Heights and Fairview, three neighborhoods practically on top of one another. Corryville is right on top of Clifton too. Clifton is the Cincinnati neighborhood that calls itself home for the University of Cincinnati. Not only is UC Medical Center here, but also very smaller outpatient care facilities under the UC umbrella are located here. The UC Medical Center is said to be the best medical center in the area. It's where Buffalo Bills player Damar Hamlin was taken when he collapsed on the field during the Cincinnati Bengals-Buffalo Bills game last year. In fact, at any time, you could pass an educational UC campus building going anywhere in Clifton. You pass by the UC Gardner Neuroscience Center en route to the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden. You pass by many of the buildings housing classrooms and frat houses / sorority houses en route to Good Samaritan Hospital and TriHealth. Nippert Stadium, where the UC Bearcats football team plays, is right on the next block up from the classroom buildings and right up the road from the local STEM (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) / college preparatory high school Hughes High School. This particular school is a college prep school, meaning you better have good grades to get in.

6. Northern Kentucky is also Cincinnati

I'm not sure who at CityBeat included this, but Northern Kentucky is in the state on the opposite side of the Ohio River, KENTUCKY! It's right there in the name! Most Northern Kentucky residents go to Ohio for various reasons as most Cincinnati residents go to Northern Kentucky for various reasons. That's why there are so many bridges spanning the Ohio River.

That odd-looking building that looks like a shard of glass is actually an extremely high end apartment building. Very expensive! Needs lots of $$$$ to live there

7. Everyone knows, by heart, the local attorney Blake Maislin's number

It's hard to forget a phone number that consists of all the same digit. 444-4444. Every billboard features the attorney in boxing gloves, as if he's about to step in to the ring with Muhammad Ali instead of taking a case. Some people think he's an ambulance chaser, which is a term for attorneys who look for injured people to help sue those who injured them, such as car wrecks and more. This city does have a high percentage of law firms scattered about. And where the main court house is, located on Court Street, there's a major law firm called O'Connor, Acciani & Levy. Up on Fourth Street and Main Street, near where the Federal Reserve is, there is a firm called KMK Law. Then further back on Main Street, near the Central Bridge coming in from Newport, Kentucky is the Great American Tower, named after the local insurance company, Great American Insurance. In that tower, on floors 27-36 are three law firms, one on top of another: Frost, Brown & Todd, Dinsmore & Shohl and finally, on floors 34-36 Vorys, Sater, Seymour & Pease

8. It's Cincy, not Cinci!

People misspell the shortened version of the name on a frequent basis

That white building you see with the stripe of red is the Montgomery Inn. A local wing and rib restaurant

9. Everyone has a most favorite and least favorite Kroger location

Kroger is the local grocery store chain in Cincinnati. There are locations in Kentucky and Ohio. Everyone has a most favorite and least favorite location. In my case, my least favorite is the one in Delhi Township, where I live. I have to worry about being able to find things because that Kroger location serves Price Hill, Sedamsville, Delhi, Sayler Park. And, unfortunately, there are low income people who come in when their food stamps come in and they take everything up, even though they probably don't need it. Not only that, but a lot of rude people tend to shop there. They'll push their way in front of you, run into you because they are too busy on their phones to pay attention or they'll just stand there until you move. And if you say something to them, they provide dirty looks and foul language in addition to non child friendly comments. Not only that, but a lot of people will steal from that store by putting items into backpacks and walking out when they're done. Luckily, security has gotten better at stopping thieves. There are security cameras EVERYWHERE! Saturdays and Sundays tend to be crazy, especially when it's the first of the month and social security / food stamps come in or it's the weekend of a holiday or worse still, reports of bad weather. Everyone panics about the bad weather and they flock to the store and start buying everything, not leaving anything for anyone. It's especially headache-inducing when weather reports come in about possibility of heavy snow. That's what I mean by bad weather. People have lived here all their lives, they know what it's like every winter and it's like they get amnesia every year.

My most favorite is the Harrison Ave Kroger. It's further to go, but at least there will be a slightly higher chance of finding what I need. But sometimes even this location can be a dud. Honestly, I'm not sure why people from Sayler Park come to the Delhi Township location. They have a Kroger location 10-15 minutes down the road from them in Cleves, which is, by all means, a very nice area, a slightly affluent one too. I've been in that one before. Clean, well stocked, a dream Kroger location. Me and my family stopped in that one on our way to Lawrenceburg to see comedian Bill Engvall.

10. As a resident of Cincinnati, you know who George Clooney is

Everyone knows who George Clooney is. He's an actor and his dad Nick Clooney ran for government office in Kentucky, where he's from. Unlike what this article says, just because you're from Cincinnati, it does not mean you have a relationship with him. You just know he, his dad Nick Clooney and grandmother Rosemary Clooney are from the Kentucky town of Maysville

11. The Beast at Kings Island will shake you to your core, but leave you wanting to repeat that experience

The Beast is a massive, monstrous wooden roller coaster at the local theme park, Kings Island, in Mason, Ohio. This massive monster of wood and steel has been there since 1979 and shaking riders to their core and has even attained mentioning in the Guiness Book of World Records for longest, fastest roller coaster. Every year, during the annual Halloween event, Halloween Haunt, The Beast is one of the rides open for business and riders can ride it at night, which intensifies the spookiness of it because the ride is set back far in the woods. At night, with all of those towering trees around you, the darkness is overwhelming. This ride has seen hundreds of thousands of riders and continues to rise each and every year when the park officially opens for the season in April.

That massive hill you see is the first hill of the ride

12. Saying you're from Cincinnati means you live within at least 30 minutes of downtown Cincinnati

Like most if not all cities, Cincinnati has outlying neighborhoods that allow for easy access to downtown Cincinnati. In Kentucky, the cities of Dayton, Newport, Bellevue, Fort Thomas are within easy distance of downtown Cincinnati. In Ohio, the neighborhoods of Sayler Park, Delhi Township, Price Hill, Addyston, Sedamsville are within easy distance of Cincinnati by jumping onto US-50, known to locals as River Road because it runs along the Ohio River.

13. Weather changes its mind frequently

Weather in Cincinnati is like a bad case of bipolar disorder. It goes from one extreme to another in a matter of minutes. It could be snowing, high of 45 degrees one minute and then be 65 degrees and sunny the next. It's a running joke with the city of Cincinnati that you can experience all four seasons- winter, summer, spring and fall- all in the same week

Weather at one point...

...five minutes later

14. Kids like to hang around the abandoned subway tunnels

Back in the days of WWI-WWII, there was a proposed idea for Cincinnati to get its own subway system. Unfortunately, prices of steel went up, causing the project to fall through. As time went on, the roads started getting clogged with people using their own personal vehicles to traverse the city and the project remained abandoned. To this day, you can see the portals for what would have been the subway tunnels in various parts of the city, including one near the Western Hills Viaduct, which takes you into Clifton near Hughes High School

15. Beer is the official beverage of Cincinnati

A lot of craft breweries have started popping up in Cincinnati. Such as Moerlein Lager, 50 West, Rheingeist, Mad Tree, Braxton. These breweries all sell their products in local bars and restaurants. It's kind of good that Cincinnati is getting on the map with all of their local breweries

16. Blue ice cream at Kings Island will always be Smurf ice cream

When Hanna Barbera had their own Hanna Barbera Land there, The Smurfs were all the rage. Blue ice cream was introduced and it was a hit. Even now, when Hanna Barbera Land was formerly Planet Snoopy and will change its name to Camp Snoopy sometime this year, blue ice cream is still a hot seller at the park. You just need to know where to find it.

17. Don't talk garbage about Norwood

Whoever came up with this article must be from Norwood. I can tell you Norwood is not the safest area of town. There tend to be a lot of shootings and home invasions there. It's right on the borderline of the East Side of Cincinnati. It borders the more affluent neighborhood of Hyde Park. Norwood is okay, but not the safest place in town. There's really nothing major in the way of industry there other than a shopping complex called Rookwood Pavilion and a couple hotels and the local Mayfield Brain & Spine Center, which is a medical facility specializing in spine and neuro care.

18. Seasonal allergies are 365 days a year

Because of the up and down weather, seasonal allergies don't take a hike when the cold weather hits. Allergies exist all 365 days a year, all 7 days of the week, all 29-31 days of the month. It's not uncommon to see / hear people sneezing or blowing their noses, drying their watery eyes or hearing asthma attacks in full force

19. Fiona is a local star

At the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden, Fiona is one of the resident hippos. Everyone is obsessed with this portly hippo and the obsession grew intensely higher when she had her fist baby, Fritz. Now everyone flocks to the zoo to see the animals. And Fritz. And Fiona.

20. The Crosstown Shootout is practically a major holiday

The Crosstown Shootout is a major local event that occurs every year. It's a major basketball game between the basketball teams of two of Cincinnati's biggest universities, Xavier University Musketeers and University of Cincinnati Bearcats. Xavier University and University of Cincinnati are next door neighbors. UC is in Clifton while in next door Evanston is Xavier. These two teams duke it out on the courts to see who brings home the trophy every year. The last few years, it's been Xavier who has been winning.

21. Everyone has their own idea of where the dividing line is between the East Side and West Side

I'm not sure. I live on the West Side of Cincinnati, but I have to travel to the East Side to work.

22. The Chicken Dance is practically the national dance of Cincinnati.

At every year's Oktoberfest, the chicken dance is required to be performed. It's said most Cincinnati residents know how to do it.

23. I-75 will be under constant construction

Interstate 75 is always having work done on it. Whether it be filling potholes, fixing the lines or something else.

Interstate 75 at Paddock Rd

24. Frisch's tartar sauce should always be in your fridge

Frisch's is the major burger chain restaurant in the Cincinnati-Northern Kentucky area. Famous for their "Big Boy", which is two hamburgers separated by two buns, cheese, lettuce, pickles and that famous tartar sauce. Almost everyone on both sides of the Ohio River have a jar or two of that famous tartar sauce in their fridge. My stepdad refuses to eat no other tartar sauce except Frisch's.

25. Goetta is a breakfast essential

For those who don't know what this is, it's a breakfast meat made of oats and pork. It's entirely German and introduced to the city of Cincinnati by German immigrants who settled here years ago. There's a local goetta company called Glier's who makes goetta and it's consumed by tons of people. In fact, every year, there is a festival called Goettafest, where this German breakfast staple is put on to anything you can imagine.

26. You already know which church fish fry has the best fish

Cincinnati is a city of churches. There are more churches here than you can imagine. During the season of Lent, which is big amongst the Catholics of the city, you can't eat meat on Friday, in accordance to your faith. You must eat fish. A lot of the local restaurants, such as Frisch's, Arby's, serve fish during these times to handle overflow from the churches. That's why the drive thru's tend to be backed up to the nines. And the local churches have fish frys. You pretty much know what church to go to to get the best fish, cole slaw, hush puppies and more. Depending on where you live, you can easily win a bet that there's going to be a church nearby having a fish fry on Fridays. In fact, around the first or second month of each year, the signs start going up everywhere advertising fish frys. And later in the year, the signs go up once more, this time advertising church festivals

27. Italianfest is a major event for the city

Italianfest is a major local event taking place on the banks of the Ohio River in Newport. This cultural occurrence celebrates the rich, vibrant Italian heritage of Newport. Italian restaurants from both sides of the river come together to sell food. A tent is set up to showcase pictures and family histories of Italian families who settled here years ago. It's a festival celebrating Newport's rich Italian heritage. And here in Ohio, there's something similar to that called CinciItalia. It takes place in Harvest Home Park in Cheviot and celebrates the Italian heritage of Cincinnati. I prefer the one in Newport because I'm originally from Northern Kentucky. I don't particularly care for the Cheviot one because that neighborhood is not the safest in town. Especially when you could be driving through, just minding your own business and suddenly your car gets a dent in it from a passing bullet from someone's gun

28. Being a parrothead is a badge of honor

Fans of musician Jimmy Buffet are known as parrotheads. Whenever Jimmy Buffet was in town, people tailgate outside the venue, partying it up until the concert, then they head over and dance and sing and enjoy the concert. You'll often see a lot of Hawaiian shirts and parrot hats. The basic rule of thumb is that if you do not personally identify yourself as a Parrothead, then you know someone who does

29. Everyone has their take on the Cincinnati Bell Connector streetcar

I've never been on it because it doesn't go where I need to / want to. Why would I drive downtown, find somewhere to park and pay for that to go somewhere I have no desire to visit? It's expensive and annoying because you have to make sure that thing is not coming when you have the right of way to cross the street. I personally think it was a waste of money to put that it. It goes to the neighborhoods that have nothing to see

30. Whoever gets the biggest chocolate chip from Graeter's wins

Graeter's is the local ice cream shop. Known for their extremely thick, almost concrete-like French Pot ice cream, they have shops all over Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. A hands down customer favorite is their black raspberry chocolate chip. Sometimes people hold competitions amongst themselves and friends that whoever gets the biggest chocolate chip wins

31. When you meet someone new, the first question you ask is "Where did you go to school?"

Most if not all Cincinnati residents have one of two options for schooling. It's either public school or Catholic school. If you went to a Catholic elementary school, then for high school it's these options, Elder (all boys Catholic high school) or Seton (all girls Catholic high school), St. Xavier (co-ed high school), Purcell Marion (prior to the merge of two schools, there were two Catholic high schools in Walnut Hills: Purcell (all boys Catholic high school) and Marion (all girls Catholic high school). The two schools merged to form Purcell-Marion). Then there's the new Mercy-McAuley high school, which is a merge from Mercy High School and McAuley High School. This is an all girl Catholic high school in the College Hill neighborhood. There's also Archbishop Moeller High School in Montgomery. This is on the East Side and you can see some high end cars, such as Mercedes, Lexus, Audi, BMW parked in the lot. This is a very massive high school. Right next door to it the elementary school part of that school system, called All Saints Elementary. Then in Montgomery's next door neighborhood of Blue Ash there is the all male La Salle High School.

If it wasn't Catholic school you attended, which usually started at a church elementary school, which goes from kindergarten to eighth grade, and then moved on to one of the above-mentioned high schools or another one not mentioned here, then it was public school for you. There are specific high schools in the city that are college-prep high schools, which means you better have the smarts and the good grades to get in. The schools in this category include Hughes High School in Clifton, the same exact neighborhood dominated by the University of Cincinnati, Walnut Hills High School in the Walnut Hills neighborhood right next door to Clifton, Western Hills High School in the neighborhood of Western Hills. Then there are the basic high schools that take care of multiple areas, so they end up being huge. On the West Side, around the area of Green Township, Bridgetown and Delhi Township, residents of those three areas have but one option for high school-Oak Hills High School. It's massive; it has to be to take students in from Delhi Township, Green Township (which is a big area in itself) and Bridgetown. This school does not offer bus service as some schools do. It's up to the parents or students themselves to get there in time.

Hughes High School in Clifton. A college prep high school

Then there are the schools that, in certain areas, are predominantly of one race or another. What I mean is that in certain neighborhoods of the city, there are high schools where the student body is predominantly black, like Withrow High School in Walnut Hills. This high school is massive because Walnut Hills is a massive neighborhood. Withrow High School is one of the best in the city because they offer tons of programs for the students in case they are unsure of what to do for careers. Then there is Dohn High School in Cincinnati, which is predominantly black and also gives students the chance to get the education they need to attend any university they want, no matter the circumstances preventing them from getting a good education. Then there's Taft High School, a predominantly black high school in downtown Cincinnati near Music Hall and right next door to Cincinnati's District 1 Police Department. If you're in downtown Cincinnati, around lunchtime and at any of the restaurants, you can easily spot the Taft High School students because of their letterman jackets or hoodies. This school offers information technology as one of the courses in case students find IT to be an exciting future career.

Dohn High School

Taft High School

Withrow High School

32. If you want prime real estate for the WEBN/Riverfest fireworks, you better stake out your spot a day prior

This is a massive yearly event, usually referred to as "The last big finale of the summer" or "the official last fiesta of summer". After that, it starts sliding towards fall and then winter. Everyone stakes out spots for the fireworks, which get launched off of the Purple People Bridge (strange name, I know) and off of the Rozzi's Fireworks barges on the river. The residents of Cincinnati know the name behind the art: Rozzi's Fireworks. They are a Cincinnati institution. People in this city know that family will deliver bigger and bigger bangs each year. Watching it on TV / being there, each firework is set along with music. Each year being a theme with its own music for each loud show of colorful fireworks

33. It's okay to wear a bib at Montgomery Inn

This is a local restaurant that serves racks of ribs, wings and more. The wings and meat are usually sopping wet with their own in-house barbecue sauce and it's more than okay to wear a bib to protect your clothes. This restaurant is on the road known as Eastern Ave in Cincinnati. It tends to flood easily when the river rises.

Driving is best described as "qualifying" for NASCAR, IMSA, Formula 1

The driving patterns of most of the residents in Cincinnati and beyond are described, at best, as "qualifying". You'd think that everyone was trying to win the last lap of an auto race because of how much they are speeding, swerving in and out of lanes, etc. Depending on the type of auto racing you prefer, some people consider themselves to be Jeff Gordon trying to win the Dayton 500, Max Verstappen trying to win the US Grand Prix or Ricky Taylor trying to win for the Wayne Taylor team in IMSA. There basically are no rules for driving in Cincinnati. If this city had to be summarized by traffic violations, it would be: broken headlights / tail lights, tail lights / headlights not even on in bad weather or early morning dark hours, illegal lane changes (not using turn signals), swerving in and out of cars and trucks (also known as reckless driving), tailgating (driving too close to the bumper of the car in front of you), aggressive driving (flashing the headlights in a vain attempt to force a driver to go faster). That is why Ohio is said to be one of the states with the worst drivers. There's even a Facebook page called Ohio Drivers Suck (I follow that page and crack up laughing. People add their own horror stories and it's amazing to see how bad Ohio drivers are).