Thursday, April 7, 2022

14 Weird Stories from Librarians

Librarians have probably seen it all. They deal in books, CDs and media of all sorts and while checking these items back into the system to be used by others, they've probably seen it all. And who's to say librarians can't be shocked by things that happen in that hush hush world?

1. Cat in a box

-I work at a public library in an urban area. One day a man brought in a tomato box that contained a dying cat. He put it on our circulation counter and asked us if we could watch his cat for a few minutes while he went outside. So that was a thing.

2. Color Me Confused

-My current job, in an academic library:

Patron: "I chose color on the copier. Why didn't it print it in color?"

Me: "Your original is black and white."

Patron: "So?"

Me: "It can't print what's not there."

Patron: "But I chose color."

Me: "So how does the printer know which colors to use if you just put a black and white picture in there. It can't fill it in like a kid with a crayon."

Patron: "Oh."

Still looking slightly bewildered, she walked away - I don't know if she ever truly got it.

3. Weird with a capital W

-Another time, two kids came into the library one with a harmonica and the other with one of those aboriginal instruments and they played it for a solid 40 seconds in the center of the library and then left. this was at about 9 pm at night, midterm week, so it was very busy, soooo weird.

4. Can I get yo number?

-I worked for a library in a rural community when I was 16-17. On one occasion when I was closing for the evening, a man (~25) hid between the shelves while we were locking all of the main doors. He revealed himself right before I left. He must have wanted my full attention when he asked me "Can I have your number?" I was very taken back and complied (which I do not think I would have done if I hadn't been surprised). Nothing bad came out of my experience, but be careful to sweep for people before locking yourselves in, guys!

5. Regular Joe or Tommy

-In my library, I have Tommy. Who comes in every day with a stack of copies of a newspaper article about a boxer (supposedly him) who won a fight against Muhammad Ali, will corner anyone he can to tell them about it.

6. Gang of weirdoes

-People are very interesting in libraries. Oh, these chaps...

Bag Man - a guy with an external borrower membership who regularly turns up with his blazer pockets filled with plastic carrier bags leaving a trail of stink in his wake.

The Alcoholic - the weekend team has to deal with this guy more often - he turns up stinking of vodka and just rumbles around talking/shouting at himself.

"Vicky Pollard" - this young lady is a curious one; never wants to leave, gets argumentative, drags her heels, and has often been seen wearing very weird attire (pajamas, slippers, leggings/tights with holes in [in the butt area]) and generally has a pretty far-away look plastered across her face at all times.

7. Heavyweight Champ

-Oh man, the urban libraries!

Yesterday I had to tell a former middleweight boxing champion that he couldn't come into the library drunk asking for cash.

A few hours later a patron informed us that our steel grating had been removed. It's like 200 plus lbs. Definitely swiped for scrap metal cash.

Just a TYPICAL DAY!

8. Anger management anyone?

-I work the evening/night shifts at a university library and we have many regulars and two stick out in my mind at the moment. Firstly, Baking Tray Fort Man. When clearing the building one evening (at about 23:50 or so - we shut at midnight) I wandered up some steps to a mezzanine level to tell a chap I'd spotted that we were closing up. It was only halfway through my sentence that I noticed he'd built a little fort of baking trays around the study carrel he was in, then as he turned to acknowledge me I saw he was also hugging one across his midriff. My colleagues didn't quite believe me until someone else spotted him doing the exact same thing a week later.

The second guy is much more irritating. He's obstreperous and combative all the time; started an argument with me because I refused to let him plug a two-pin international plug into our UK 3-pin sockets. Early in January, we were tasked with closing at 9 pm because of the "extreme weather" (some snow) and this was publicized all over the uni website, Twitter, Facebook as well as physical posters and announcement boards in the library lobby informing everyone of this. Simple, right? But, nay, an angry man came and tried to chew me out when the closing bell rang at 20:45. He wanted us to just lock him in and leave him until midnight as it was his "human right" to stay until midnight. Security had to remove him and he later threatened a manager that he'd call his embassy because we'd closed three hours early. Needless to say, he's not banned and still regularly skulks around as I secretly glare at him when he's not looking

9. You Got Any Hard Drives?

-There was this one time a woman who was down on her luck (was struggling with job searches, a divorce, hospitalizations, etc.) came in and asked me if we had a spare hard drive she could have, since her computer had passed the night before. You know, just one lying around that we weren't using.

10. The Mysterious Rapper

-There are A LOT OF crazies where I work as well, one of our homeless people in town writes raps. When I was a shelver, I would watch this guy and observe his behaviors. He would place his unfinished raps in our teen area in a graphic novel. I observed also that all the guy reads are M.C. Beaton mystery novels... lol he’s just one special character. 

11. How does that song go?

-I shelve books in the children’s section at a public library, so nothing too wild happens. But there is this one older guy who comes in a few times a week asking the librarians if they can help him figure out the title of a song. Sometimes he isn't even sure what the lyrics are but has a general idea. The librarians are super nice and try to help him every time.

12. A movie just waiting to be made...

-I've worked at a few branches of a well-known library, and every branch has the strange.

Blanket Lady - sadder than anything else. She covers herself with large fluffy blankets I think because she sleeps on the street.

Hoarder Lady - buys lots of discard magazines/books. A coworker carried some of her purchases to her car for her one time and said the car was filled with books/magazines. Every spare inch.

Ninja Dude - a guy in his mid-twenties? who dresses like a ninja in a white outfit. I remember he seemed to love Naruto and never washed the suit.

Buns of Steel - the older dude who used to bike from his house to the library every week to either renew or check-in/out our copy of the Jane Fonda workout VHS. Eventually, it got so warped I don't think he could watch it anymore.

Super Dog - didn't come much but it was always awesome to see this guy roll up with a dog riding in a cage on the back of his bike. He had him set up on this pole so the cage was much higher than the seat.

13. Kids and pickles

-Well… yesterday I had a pickle thrown at me by a kid after signing him up for a card, just because I wouldn't let him check out video games due to his card type.

14. Student aid

-This library is in this slim 8+ floor building near LA. Every time there was a decent-sized earthquake, they'd have to hire a lot of students to help pick up all the books that were thrown to the floor because the building vibrated like a tuning fork.

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