Quotes from Love Actually

Parky: This must be a very exciting moment for you, fighting the Christmas Number One. How's it looking so far
Billy Mack: Very bad indeed. Blue are outselling me five to one. But I'm hoping for a late surge. And if I reach Number One, I promise to sing the song stark naked on TV on Christmas Eve
Parky: Do you mean that?
Billy Mack: Well of course I mean it, Michael. Do you want a preview, you old flirt?
Parky: That'll never make Number One

Colin: American girls would seriously dig me with my cute British accent

Colin: Exciting news!
Tony: What?
Colin: I've bought a ticket to the States. I'm off in three weeks
Tony: No!
Colin: Yes! To a fantastic place called Wisconsin
Tony: No!
Colin: Yes! Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin! Whoo hoo!
Tony: No, Col! There are a few babes in America, I grant you, but they're already going out with rich, attractive guys.
Colin:  Nah, Tone, you'ree just jealous. You know perfectly well that any bar anywhere in American contains ten girls more beautiful and more likely to have sex with me than the whole of the United Kingdom
Tony: That is total bollocks. You've actually gone mad now
Colin: No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William without the weird family
Tony: No, Colin, no!
Colin: Yes!
Tony: Nyet!
Colin: Da!
Tony: Nein!
Colin: Ja, darling!

Sam: Daniel, I have a plan!
Daniel: Thank the Lord! Tell me.
Sam: Well, girls love musicians, don't they?
Daniel: Uh-huh
Sam: Even the really weird ones get girlfriends
Daniel: That's right. Meatloaf got laid at least once. For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl!

Sam: Whatever.
Carol-Anne: The thing that's gonna make it more crowded? Harriet
Jeannie: Oh, Harriet!
Carol-Anne: You haven't met Harriet
Colin: There's a fourth one?
Carol-Anne: Yeah
Stacey: Don't worry, you're totally gonna like her, 'cause she is the "sexy one".