This was an interesting article that caught my eye on the internet
When it comes to those who are from Britain, proper manners and sophistication are two things people think of first. Good manners, good etiquette are the orders of the day in Britain. According to MSN.com writer Astrid Hofer, a resident of Austria who moved to London, here are 12 etiquette rules from Britain that Americans should learn or know. The person behind the article also talked to Laura Windsor, who is the author of Modern British Manners and a top expert in royal etiquette
Arrive on time
-Being on time and punctual is considered incredibly respectful in a lot of countries, including Japan and Britain. Whether it be work, a dinner party or something else, be on time! According to Laura Windsor, the idea of being "fashionably late is fashionably rude". "Coming 10 to 15 minutes late is acceptable, but it should never be more. The hosts have gone to great lengths to make a pleasurable evening for you, so don't leave them waiting." Sometimes, things happen, that are out of your control. Do the right thing by calling to alert the hosts to your delay. Be honest about how late you may be. "That way, the host can decide if they want to wait with serving the food or not. And don't pretend it's just five minutes when you're probably going to be half an hour."
-Also, don't arrive too early. You don't want to disturb your hosts while they are putting any last minute prep work on or preparing themselves to warmly receive guests
Use terms like "please", "thank you", "sorry"
-These are the proper terms to use when showing good manners. In Britain, it's not uncommon to hear these terms being uttered quite frequently. A good thing to remember is when asking for something, show proper etiquette by asking "May I have", not "can I have". It might seem like such a minor difference, but little things make big impacts. "You "can" do anything in the world, but using "may" means you are asking for permission," says Laura Windsor.
-When in Britain, apologizing frequently is something else you'll notice. According to Laura Windsor, "If someone bumps into me, I will say "sorry" and he or she will say it too. It's not that I'm really sorry-it's just the response that we learned from when we were little." The same concept can be applied everywhere. For example, if you're going to the theatre and find someone sitting in your seat. Don't just tell them to get up. Use polite manners. "A person in England would say something to the effect of "I'm so sorry, but I think you are in my seat." The "sorry" softens things a bit and makes it sound less harsh."
Keep conversations light and avoid getting personal
-Windsor sums it up when it comes to mastering small talk. "Keep the conversation light and general. Don't ask questions that are too personal, such as if somebody is married or has kids. If you're talking to someone who's been secretly waiting for a proposal from their boyfriend for years or just had a miscarriage, this won't go down well. If you notice someone has an accent, never ask "Where are you from?" Instead, you could say "Where is home for you?" In that case, it's up to the person how much they want to reveal."
-Not sure what to talk about? Windsor jokingly says "The weather always works as an icebreaker in the UK. You could also talk about the event you're at or ask how the person you're talking to knows the host." Topics to avoid at all costs include asking too many personal questions, politics and anything controversial. When in doubt, think like a British royal. Keep the talk light hearted and small
When dining, keep the fork in the same hand
-There's a vast difference between American table manners and British table manners. When using a knife, Americans will put the knife down and pick up a fork with their dominant hand to eat. People in Britain, however, keep the fork in the same hand when taking a bite. When eating in Britain, you keep the knife and fork in your hands and don't put them down unless getting something to drink or picking up a napkin to blot your mouth
-According to Laura Windsor, "When we are at the table in the UK, we want to give the least distraction. And we want to not make noises, which includes clattering the cutlery on the plate. When using a fork, the tines are always down. You never turn the fork to scoop food on."
Only cut and eat one bite at a time
-It's been said that Americans will often cut up their meat and veggies prior to eating. Cutting up the food into several bites goes against proper etiquette used in the UK. According to Laura Windsor, "It's all about looking elegant when dining in Britain, which is why you don't cut only one bite at a time, you also eat one bite at a time. We don't come to the table to stuff our faces. We come to eat and have conversations with people. We like our small bites. Apart from the fact that they're easy to swallow and give us time to talk in between, they also prevent choking, especially for kids. And it's good for digestion too."
Lay down the cutlery nicely
-It might sound strange, but clattering the cutlery down when you're not using them could be seen as poor manners. In the US, it's customary to put the cutlery down at the 10:20 position while in Britain, it's customary to put cutlery down in the 6:30 position. With the fork on the left and the knife on the right. In restaurants, put your cutlery down in a spot that looks "finished" or "done". This will tell your server and fellow diners that you have completed your meal
When hosting, offer a beverage right away
-When in the UK, you'll never enter a home without being offered something to drink. Offering a drink is polite in the US as well. If you're hosting, don't let it be up to your thirsty guests to ask for drinks. Offer them as soon as possible. According to Windsor, "Traditionally, it's the gentlemen pouring the ladies a glass of water, and it's a way of signaling that the meal is about to begin."
Don't bring flowers to a dinner party
-It's always considered good etiquette to bring a small gift to a dinner party. Chocolates are good. And so is champagne or wine, Laura Windsor says "as long as you don't expect it to be opened, as your hosts have probably already selected and paired the drinks with the food." Personalized gifts are always good too. These include books by the host's favorite author, jam for those with a sweet tooth, flower seeds for those with a passion for gardening. The one gift to avoid at a dinner party? Bouquets of fresh flowers. "They are a headache for the host if they're busy preparing things and are then left to look after them. If you want to gift flowers, send them before or after dinner, or bring a potted plant they can just place somewhere."
Don't say "like" all the time
-Nothing says lack of confidence more than using "like" frequently. Windsor says "If you say "like" every two or three words, you'll lose value and credibility, so try to avoid it."
Respect personal space
-Ever since the COVID-19 pandemic, it's been said to stay six feet apart from people. People respect their personal space. Greeting someone with a hug for the first time won't do well in the UK. Laura Windsor states "We're a bit more stiff upper lip than Americans, and we like to keep our distance." When people in the UK shake hands, "we leave about a meter (approximately 40 inches) distance, the length of our own elbow and the other person's elbow."
-It could seem standoffish or even cold at first, but it's not what it seems. "It takes a little time to get to know us, but once you do, we could be friends for life."
Respect the line
-In England, when you are waiting in line for something, it's called queueing. And, no matter what country you're in, you need to wait your turn and don't jump ahead of people in a line. Nothing says poor manners better than cutting in front of someone. Windsor mentions "If there's a bus shelter and it's raining, you don't want to stick yourself out in the open, so you'll huddle together to not get wet. But when it comes to getting on board, you'll hopefully get back in line and wait until it's your turn." Simply put, be patient. Wait your turn, whether it be to board a bus, waiting in line at a coffee or tea shop or a grocery store
PJs in public are to be avoided at all costs
-For example, it's 10pm and you have a sudden hankering for cereal only to find you've let yourself run low on milk. While the temptation is overwhelming to run to the nearest store to get milk in your pajamas, it's not something to do. You definitely don't do this in the UK. Nothing says "I'm American" more than running around in your sleeping clothes
-"Don't ever wear pajamas in public. You can never be sure who you might meet outside. It could be the CEO of a company you've wanted to reach out to for years and you can just walk up to that person and introduce yourself looking like you just got out of bed." says Windsor
Put your phone away when you are out with other people
-This is common sense. When you are with other people, why be on your phone? You should be enjoying the time with others, socializing, enjoying their time as they are with you. It seems many Americans are glued to their phones, or mobiles as they might be referred to in the UK. Many people in Britain, however, avoid doing this, as it's considered impolite in the book of British etiquette and manners. Windsor says "It's the height of bad manners. When you are with other people, they are the most important things around you [paying attention to] anything else is disrespectful. Turn off your phone, and put it away." If you are expecting an important call, it's best to let someone know that you may have to excuse yourself from the table at some point. In those cases, put your phone on vibrate to avoid disturbing those around you. And if a call does come in, keep it short, sweet and to the point. NEVER answer calls at the table
Keep things formal
-In the US, emails at work are short, sweet and to the point. In the UK, however, people like build relationships. Even if you think it's a bit long winded to read a long email, don't think of it as a waste of time. When emailing those in the UK, keep it formal. Keep it professional. Start off an email with a greeting like "Good morning", "Good afternoon"
-Windsor recommends using a person's title and last name instead of using first names if you've never met them. "When in doubt, always be formal because you can never go wrong. You might go wrong if you're too informal and someone feels offended." And it's also incredibly important to sign off the email using formality. Instead of using "cheers", which is a typical greeting heard in England when leaving somewhere, using a more proper send off, such as "goodbye", "thanks", "kind regards", "yours truly".
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