Leave it to a few Americans here and there to do something stupid/say something stupid overseas. While not all Americans are going to do a few cultural messups, there are people from the US who would do something stupid, simply because the doorbell of opportunity was a ringing or curiosity got the best of them or they simply didn't know. Rule of thumb: respect the laws and customs and they will respect you. Whatever you do, it will leave a good or bad impression. Respect the laws and customs and don't be stupid! And keep the stupid comments to yourself. Seeing the events listed below makes me ashamed to be an American tourist.
1. Wearing a kilt is not an invitation to take a peek
-I got stopped by an American tourist as I was on my way to a wedding in my kilt. That prick straight up lifted the back of my kilt to prove I was a true Scotsman.
My mate intercepted the perfect diving headbutt
2. Just an innocent koala...
-In Australia, [they] shook a koala out of a tree at a wildlife park.
3. Complicated much?
-From my job at a youth hostel:
Explained that Euros are way too complicated and they refused to pay with anything but dollars. Another one complained that they couldn’t read street signs and there should be an English version... in a small town without a lot of tourists.
Another thing I have seen way too often [in Germany]: they do the Nazi greeting, which is illegal, and they often find it hilarious
4. Parents can be bad influences
-I'm an American, but I was visiting England and touring the Tower of London. There was a cannon behind a rope with a "Do not touch or climb" sign.
This American woman lifted the rope and told her kid (maybe seven years old) to go sit on the cannon so she could take a picture. The KID protested and said the sign said no... The woman said she didn't care, and ordered her kid to do it or she'd ground them.
5. Souvenir in progress...
-When I was in France, a couple American tourists tried to sneak out of the Paris Catacombs with a bone they had stolen.
6. Shocked speechless
-They did the Nazi greeting in the middle of Berlin (Germany), not far from the Jewish memorial.
7. No more questions!!
-I was in a tour group in Tajikistan and we were inside a local's house who had invited us in for tea. He was telling us about his family and how many children they have, etc. The only American in the group piped up and asked, "What contraception does your wife use? Does she use herbs or something?"
Everyone was just aghast and he politely avoided the question, then there was a long awkward silence. And so the[n] she asked AGAIN! At that point, another tour member interjected and said, "Okay, I think it’s time for us to leave. Thanks for having us."
8. No shoes please
-I live in New Zealand and we have our special kind of churches called maraes. You are not allowed to wear shoes in them.
One day I was in the marae and I saw this middle aged woman walk in with her shoes on. I walked over to her and politely asked her to leave her shoes at the door and, I kid you not, this is what she said: “What is this some kind of savage church?” The men immediately kicked her out.
9. #winniethepoohruined
-I was at Disneyland in Japan and there was an American tourist standing behind us during the fireworks and castle show. He lit up a cigarette in the middle of the crowd where children were, and then loudly complained that because Winnie the Pooh was singing in Japanese that was “f*cked up” and “ruined Pooh forever.” I also saw him punch a toddler's balloon because it was in his way.
10. Speak English here?
-Angrily shouting, "DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?" very loudly at a cashier in a small store in Paris over and over again until they gave up and and stormed out. After they left, I approached to buy something and said "Bonjour" and they said "Hello" back to me. She spoke English
11. But other countries do it
-I’m a Greek-American (i.e., dual citizen) visiting Greece. An American woman in the Acropolis museum tried to touch the marbles when a staff member told her she couldn’t. She replied, “You know in Spain they let you touch the Roman statues!”
Good for Spain. This is Greece; we don’t have much anymore besides our history and a few nice islands. Unless the government sells those, too
12. This round is on someone else
-Not buy their round. In a pub in Ireland. When the pub round system had been explained to them. And they had happily taken drinks from everyone.
And when it was their round, and everyone had empty glasses, and it was mentioned that "Think it's your round..." they responded, "I think I'm good now, thanks." Mortified for bringing them with me! (And yes, I bought the round for everyone else on their behalf.)
13. Food is not always fast
-I used to work in a high-end restaurant. Five or six course meals are the standard, so people take their time to eat, chat and enjoy the evening for at least two to three hours. It is normal to have half an hour in between meals. If we would serve faster, the guest would complain about the food being served too fast.
Anyway, this table of mostly local people plus one American woman being very loud with a thick, I guess, New York accent was complaining after three minutes after every course where her food was. First, I explained the above. The rest of the table was also getting a bit awkward about her behavior. She kept complaining, though, saying how incredibly disappointed she was.
I kept explaining that the food we serve is freshly made, it takes time to prepare, and that the whole idea is to enjoy the evening in with the people you are [with]. She just would [not] get [the] concept and reacted with so much disbelief. Lady, you are abroad; if you want to stuff your face with food in under five minutes, go to a fast food chain... even better, stay at home.
14. When in Rome, hate on the local pizza
-I’m a Brit who was in Rome on a food tour. There was a pair of women from Chicago (I know because they told us 20 times) and one of them would interrupt the tour guide at every opportunity to tell him Chicago invented pizza and how the pizza here wasn’t as good because “real pizza is deep dish,” while the other woman agreed.
It was a four-hour tour and they mentioned it every 20 minutes at least. The pizzeria stop on the tour was unbearable.
15. How to scare a child like an American
-Screeching, "Oh ma gawd do that again!! Say something Scaaaattish!!" (Scottish) at 8-year-old me and a friend during a school trip to an art gallery. Really caught us off guard and my friend just managed to mumble, "What do you want me to say?" And they howled with laughter.
16. This isn't Starbucks
-In a crêperie in Paris, an American couple rudely complained to the staff, and then to the manager because the pancakes and coffee were too small! They'd ordered a crêpe and un café (an espresso).
We had trouble not laughing out loud when (after repeatedly trying to explain it politely) the manager finally lost his cool and practically yelled, "You are in Paris! In France! In France, THIS IS coffee! If you want what you call coffee, you need to find a Starbucks." He also wouldn't give them the discount they requested
17. English, please!
-I had dinner with an American in China. He asked for water in English, and the waiter didn’t understand. He spoke up and repeated himself in a patronizingly slow voice, and again the waiter, not being able to speak English, didn’t understand. I asked for the water in Chinese and the waiter left. The American then said, “It’s so infuriating here sometimes.”
There are many things that can be annoying and inconvenient in China, but simply expecting people to understand your language is unreasonable as f*ck
18. Be a creeper after parking a boat
-In the Netherlands, you have this place called Giethoorn, which is this nice typical Dutch village with lots of waterways and canals. You can rent a boat and just go on your way around all the waterways and the village.
Tourists often forget that this is an actual village where normal people live and that it’s not just one big theme park. So they often park their boat in someone's backyard and walk around their garden, peek inside the houses through the window and stuff. People get used to it, but it’s still rude haha
19. Do not touch the animals
-South African here. Americans tend to have this habit where they will climb out of their vehicle in the middle of a game reserve, get attacked by a wild animal because they wanted to get closer or try to pet it, and then cry about it.
I thought people that come from the country that has grizzly bears and mountain lions would be a bit more cautious around wild animals.
Also, the shock they experience when they realize there are cities here and not everyone is living in mud huts
20. Turn on the lights!
-Iceland. We get a lot of tourism when there isn't a pandemic, and about half are American. It's mostly just ignorance and the refusal to accept that things work differently here. Also, while most people here speak English to some degree, there are a few tourists that are furious about it not being the default language in businesses that aren't even connected to tourism. God forbid we speak our own language at work.
Oh and Northern Lights. There's a ton of people who seem to think we can just flick a switch and have the Northern Lights appear
21. Slow and loud doesn't mean understanding
-Talk to me in slow, shouting English as if I don't understand. He was in western Canada, where everybody speaks English, and I'd already even said something in English to him
22. Revising history
-I have seen a very drunk American tourist in his 20s explaining to a Viet bartender in Viet Nam how his American grandfather freed Viet Nam of communists
23. Leave home unarmed
-A friend of mine is a customs agent in Ireland and he said Americans have turned up with firearms at Dublin Airport.
When they are stopped and it's flagged - you cannot walk around with handguns or be a possession of handguns - they bleat about the 2nd amendment, etc.
It has to be explained they are no longer in the USA and they cannot have access to their firearms.
I asked him how often this happens. He replied, often enough that there is a safe in Dublin Airport for Americans who bring their guns.
Wild.
24. Never heard of Liberty, Equality, Fraternity
-I'm French. I was chatting with an American woman who was visiting (friend of a friend of a family member). At one point, we start talking about the differences between our countries. She said, "The USA is the only country in the world with true freedom."
I thought she was joking, but she was not. I told her, "What do you mean? We are also free in France." She looked at me with a condescending smirk and said, "Really?" like to make me admit something. I just nodded and left
25. Golden Arches dining down under
-While working at Maccas [McDonald's], I overheard an American tourist tell his family that they were going to eat some good food, not foreign garbage, while they were waiting in line to order
26. This isn't camel country?
-I live in Israel, my two favorites:
"Where are the camels and the dunes, isn't this a desert country???" The tourist said it in Tel-Aviv...
An old American man stripped naked in a beach (not a nudist beach... we don't have those here). Very disrespectful and also illegal here...
27. How far away is it?
-The best one I've heard was the American tourist complaining that they built Edinburgh castle so far from the train station
28. Know the audience you're speaking to
-Indian here. My office was hosting two American and one British ladies and I had to take them sightseeing. We were a British colony up until 1947 and have tonnes of British buildings as our historical heritage (that period was awful but the buildings are nice).
Well, for some reason the American ladies thought it would be a good idea to talk to me about how the British were awful to us during the colonization period in front of the nice British lady. I was uncomfortable talking about that, and the British lady seemed uncomfortable, but the American ladies kept [making] what they thought were funny comments about how the British lady's country was awful to my country despite my million efforts to change the subject.
It IS a dark part of our history, but bringing that up and keeping at it was rude and in bad taste.
Thankfully, the British lady did not get offended or I would've had to face the consequences of offending a guest.
29. Chivalry is most definitely dead
-India. Subway has seats designed for ladies. American guy in his twenties totally refused to move and let the ladies who were standing sit. He was requested by everyone for like five minutes
30. Insensitivity on an epic scale...
-Asking for an Irish Car Bomb in a pub in Ireland....
It's an abomination of a drink to begin with, but calling it that is going to get you refused service at best. Worst case scenario depends on whereabouts in Ireland you ask for it.
31. We're not in Camelot anymore...
-My friend described a trip to an English tourist spot, one of many places said to be Arthur’s Camelot. It required a climb up the picturesque hill to a quiet, tree-filled spot. Nothing of the castle to be seen, of course, but everybody gazed out over the surrounding land, contemplating the magic of the ancient myth.
Finally arrives the chubby, puffing American who glances about with irritation, then loudly says in that familiar accent: “Where’s the god***n castle?”
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