One thing you do not want to do is annoy the cops. They pull you over for one reason or another. Sarcasm is not the thing to do when they are trying to do their job. Here are some sarcastic responses from people who have been pulled over.
1. A lucky coincidence...
-"Got pulled over once for no apparent reason. Officer says he clocked me doing 70 in a 55. I had cruise control on at 59 and both my car and Google maps told me I was under 60. I gave him such an, “are you f---ing stupid?” look. I’m not sure how it would have escalated, but at that exact moment my phone started screeching at me about an Amber Alert with a vehicle description similar to what I was driving. Things got cleared up pretty fast after that."—MostlyChaoticNeutral
2. A German point of view
-At least in germany you should always say no because otherwise whatever you did was intentionally. If you do it intentionally the situation gets worse for you."—MegaIngo
3. Paperwork always helps
-"In college one of my friends was Swiss-American. He had both an American and a Swiss drivers license. When pulled over for speeding, he would hand over the Swiss drivers license (which was a folded document the size of a high school diploma) and started with: “Was ist los, offizier?” (“What is wrong, officer?). Passengers were instructed to keep their mouth shut and smile like they didn’t comprehend anything.
100% effective. One cop just muttered “I wouldn’t even know how to fill out the paperwork."'—mykepagan
4. Never do this!
-'This should clear up our little misunderstanding’ As I hand them my get out of jail free card from my wallet."—averageredditcuck
5. Playing dumb is sometimes the best game to play
-"Well, if you don’t know, sir.. I’m afraid we’re both wasting our time."—RubyKitsune
6. If you follow the lead of police...
-"I once got pulled over for speeding behind a cop. I told him that I noticed I was behind a police officer and assumed we were traveling at a safe speed. He said “it’s on me this time,” and I didn’t get a ticket."—thecatbeans
7. Judge to the rescue!
-"So this story is about my mom when she was pregnant with me.
At 8 months pregnant, my mom has been suffering almost constant migraines that make her so nauseous. She gets permission to leave work early one day because she’s been throwing up. My poor sick mother said “F--- the speed limit!” And took off home. A Maryland state trooper pulls my mother over for going 55 in a 35. He comes up to her window and she rolls it down and says “Officer I know I’m speeding I live just down there, I’m going to throw up, please let me puke at my house.” The officer starts getting super upset at my mom, and asks for her license and registration. My mom opens her door and pukes on his shoes. She gets a ticket, and has to go to court.
In court, the officer also wants my mom to replace his shoes. The judge goes “You saw a woman that pregnant who said she was nauseous, and still insisted on stopping her? You’re such an a--.” And dismisses the ticket.
I’m 25 now and it’s my mom’s favorite story about her pregnancy with me."—slightlyslytherin
8. Truth will always work
-"Because it’d be really difficult having this conversation while driving."—drdoom
9. Polite manners always work
-"The last time I got pulled over, I was in a small town and he was super nice. He flat out told me that he got me doing 55 in a 45. I was from out of town and told him he was right, that I had missed the speed limit change and that my wife had just warned me. 5 seconds later, I would have been legal had he been sitting there or not. He handed me a warning and told us to have a safe day. I was there maybe 5 minutes."—angmarsilar
10. No sir!
-"No, sir.” That is the correct response. Even if you’re doing 90 in a 15 with a kilo of coke strapped to the roof. “No, sir.” They’re fishing. And the question is either absurd or condescending, depending on how you look at it."—ph33randloathing
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