Life is what happens when you are making other plans~ John Lennon
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind~Gandhi
The time is always right to do what is right~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Monday, September 26, 2011

When It Rains, It Pours (Literally)

This week has been the most hectic week of my life. As I have said in my post When It Rains, It Pours,  I mentioned my dad was sick. Well, not anymore. He died at 5:30 Monday morning from pneumonia. I'm really convinced that those asshole doctors should have given him a damn pneumonia shot. Sorry I seem a little irritable about this, I'm still in the initial shock of losing my dad. And then it's WW III between my mom and aunt. They keep saying things about each other behind their backs. Yeah, my dad died. I couldn't stop crying at the funeral, and if you were there, you would have noticed everyone was in their own little groups, like for example, the people from US Bank where my dad worked, the people from 1st shift and days were together talking, then my aunt Lisa and her clan were there talking bad about Harriet and Brenda, 2 of closest adult friends whom I've known for my entire life, and the reason they were talking bad about these 2 lovely ladies is they are black and my aunt Lisa and her clan are all racist idiots anyway and then people in my mom's family begging me and my sis to keep the house, But guess what? I know NOTHING about owning a house and I can't seem to find a job because I'm competing with the people out there who have families to support and they are fighting for jobs as well. And to make things a little more stressful, I have to move in with my mom because I had been living with my dad and now my school sent me a bill for tuition saying that if I don't pay $1200 by Oct. 7, they'll send collection people after me. Well, guess what? I don't have that kind of money right now so I'm going to tell them that they will just have to wait because I have alot on my plate right now. I thought this was the beginning of my student loan payments, nope and I thought that it might also be financial aid, nope. I started thinking WTF? What happened to my student loan that was supposed to start paying for this stuff? If that loan has not covered anything, then it was useless applying for it in the first place!!!

But the week my dad went in to hospital, when I went home, I did things to take my mind off them, like last Friday when he went in for the first time, I went home and watched both Ned Kelly, and I mean the old one with Mick Jagger in it and also Freejack. I had a regular Mick Jagger day, lol. I forgot how sexy he is when he talks. And something that's a little funny is in Ned Kelly, he has an Irish accent, that's a little funny, but also strangely sexy at the same time. I couldn't help but get turned on seeing him in Ned Kelly and in Freejack, when he's a little older, and definitely cuter. IDK why, but I've been in a Mick Jagger mood lately, listening to the Stones more and for some strange reason, the music of the Stones is strangely relaxing to me, if I want to calm down and relax, I listen to the Stones, I'm pathetic I know, but their music is soothing to me I guess.

Sorry, I know I'm a sad little person, but I've been watching alot of movies with this guy in it lately, IDK why!! And plus, I just really like looking at him, lol. He's so cute!!!

And through all of this, I have to wonder, Why my dad? There's plenty of people out there who deserve to be punished, like those who rape little kids or who just rape in general, murderers, thieves, baby killers, rapists, child molesters, all of them walk free with a slap on the wrist and my dad has to die? God is supposed to be so benevolent, just and merciful? What kind of 'benevolent God' does this? Why did my dad have to go? But then my aunt says that my dad was suffering in his last hours, and it you would have seen him, yeah he was suffering. He was totally out of it, he thought he was seeing things on the wall, his breathing got harder, and what is actually worse is that when he took his last breath and flatlined, me and my sis were in the room when he died. When that happened, it suddenly got colder in the room, and my aunt saw the life vanish from his eyes too. So then all 3 of us couldn't do anything because we were busy crying because we all had lost someone, she lost her brother, me and my sis lost our father. Hopefully time heals all wounds. Ever since the funeral, I've been in the process of moving in with my mom and stepdad. Things have been getting easier as time goes on, so I guess time is healing our wounds. I know there will be times when I feel like crying if I see something that reminds me of my dad, but I just gotta remember that he's up in heaven with my grandparents making them laugh because he was a joker. He always made us laugh. Whenever me, my sister and dad and aunt would go out somewhere, somehow my aunt would say something wrong, like pronounce a word wrong and they would start arguing in a funny way and me and my sis would be in the backseat almost wetting ourselves from laughing so much. I guess that's what I gotta do, is just remember all the good times, and not the bad.

And plus, around me, it had been raining cats and dogs, it has literally been like a 40 days and 40 nights kind of rain. It was raining when I went to school this morning and also today is when I had to learn how to ride a new bus line, the Metro bus of Cincinnati. The fare is high up, $1.75. That's alot for me I swear and when I got on the bus, I squeezed in next to a nice black lady reading a book. And I noticed that it was very crowded. But after today, I'll know when and where to get off the bus and walking a block and a half in pouring rain with my arms full with things like a thermos of coffee in one hand and holding my umbrella in the other, I was a sight to see I swear! And when I got to school, I looked like a drowned rat, the bottom of my jeans were all soaked, and my shoes were soaked all the way through to my bare feet.

And I also got to learn how to play pool. Man I suck!! 3:00 am is probably the latest I have ever stayed up, but with me and my sis now living with my mom and stepdad, I have a feeling that Saturday nights will be filled with my mom and stepdad emptying 6 packs of Bud Light teaching us how to play pool and music playing loudly on the stereo with my sister singing along to Green Day. We, as in my mom, stepdad, sister and me were up until 3:00 am on Saturday night playing pool with The Rolling Stones playing full blast on my stepdad's stereo. Nothing to help me concentrate more than Rock and a Hard Place blasting over the stereo, and my mom said I needed wine to ease up. I needed something a little stronger than that after the week I had!! But as time went on, I got progressively better. The only issue I have with pool is keeping the stick up to shoot, sometimes it's too heavy, so I guess that's why I had a training pool cue. Anyway, the stereo my stepdad has you can put up to 5 CDs in it, and it's a CD changer, meaning it will play all of the songs on 1 CD and then move on to the next CD. So naturally, I had to choose a CD of The Stones. I chose their Steel Wheels album, and my mom says jokingly "Oh you would have to choose that one." I was laughing at it, sorry, I'm easily amused, and I laugh at almost everything. So basically we all got to play pool while The Rolling Stones, Green Day, a band called Puddle of Mud and Pink Floyd played on the stereo. And I bought myself 2 puzzles, yay me. Can you believe that? I get excited because I bought a puzzle. God, I'm pathetic, I really need a life, lol!

Why do they have to all wear black? Couldn't they all wear some different color?

This one is going to kill me!!! And personally, George is the one with the cutest handdrawn picture.


  1. I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad, I hope he is at peace now and free from the pain. I wondered why I hadn't seen you around on here and FB and now I know why. I shall keep you and your family in my prayers. Keep strong x

  2. Oh my gosh I am SO sorry about your dad!